i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My penis needs a shock collar
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He did a backflip because drugs
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