Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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