Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
