Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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