bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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