I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Be still, my beating vagina.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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