Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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