Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
