I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Everyone says I win the strip club
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
