I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
