Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
