how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
