By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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