I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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