I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
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