Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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