I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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