it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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