I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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