Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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