I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
false alarm, still single
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
