my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
