Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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