Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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