YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
