She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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