so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
