okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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