Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
