Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
