12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
