Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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