he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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