woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
