Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
