This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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