So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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