i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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