That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
