You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She told me I should be a condom model.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
