whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
