I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
