I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
