I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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