I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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