how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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