I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
