When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
