This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
