She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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