That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
