You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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